A tale of numbers, near-financial ruin, and the cousins who keep buying land. Read on for laughter, lessons and life after USAID shutdown.
I joined a financial wellness program in April 2024. Expecting tips on how to become a real estate mogul. Instead, I got a spreadsheet, an emergency fund, and a lecture about buying land because my cousin did. 😅
Also? Lost my job. But thanks to Brenda Manyara, the Financial Coach, I didn’t spiral. I pivoted.
I engaged her personal finance coaching, not because I was sitting on piles of cash, like a quiet billionaire. No. I was mostly sitting on stress. I stared at my payslip. I wondered why it disappears faster than Nairobi matatus during a police crackdown.
I joined the Thrive! Financial Wellness Program under Brenda’s wise, calm, and brutally honest counsel. I expected a few tips on investing. Some motivational quotes. Or suggestions to “buy land because it never depreciates.”
Huh. Truth be told. Truth was told (in her summative report). Check out the snippets below.
Step 1: The Financial Assessment
We started with a deep dive into my finances. She handed me a Net Worth Statement. I looked at it and instantly wanted to dispute it like a wrongly marked high school exam.
She asked for my goals:
🏠 Own a home.
👨👩👧👦 Educate my kids stress-free.
🧘♂️ Retire without depending on anyone (or selling groundnuts at 70).
Then she hit me with questions:
- “Do you have an emergency fund?”
- “What’s your investment/assets ratio?”
- “How are you planning your estate?”
Me: “Estate? I haven’t even finished paying for my fridge!”
Also me: “I shall not die! I reject estate planning conversation in Jesus’ Name!”
Step 2: Ratios I Pretended to Understand
Brenda is the coach who smiles gently while showing you you’re financially broke. She broke down some mysterious formulas:
- Emergency Fund = 3% of annual income (I had 0.03%. Yes. 1 zero away from nothingness.)
- Investment Assets / Net Worth = 0.5
- Total Debt / Total Assets = 0.5
- Debt Repayment / Gross Income = 0.36
Me: “Ah, interesting…” (Translation: I had no idea what was going on. But I nodded like I was taking notes at an IMF meeting.) Please join me. Let’s pretend we understand these formulas and move on!
Step 3: Investment, Cousins & Other Poor Life Choices
I told her I wanted to invest. She asked, “Why?”
I blinked. “Because… people are buying plots. My cousin has two.”
Brenda: “Is that a goal or pressure with a title deed?”
Friends, that’s the moment I realized: I was investing based on Fear Of Missing Out and WhatsApp groups influence.
Step 4: Then, Life Happened
Fast forward to January 2025: USAID folded our project. My job ended.
But here’s the shocker: I wasn’t completely panicking. Earlier, I had survived two job losses. In 2022, I Didn’t Lose My job, They Lost Me. While in 2015, I was in the Plight of the Jobless).
Thanks to my coach, I had:
- Started an emergency fund (okay, not the full 3%, but hey, we move!)
- Created extra income streams
- Slashed spending like I was on a mission from the IMF
Was it perfect? No. Was I grateful? YES. Because financial literacy won’t stop hard times, but it makes them pain-less.
So, What’s the Point of This Story?
I didn’t become Elon Musk overnight. I am yet to fly into Space (x) or sit in a Tesla (car). Even on work trips (that I now dearly miss), I flew economy and rarely got the window seat.
But I’ve learned:
- You can’t manage donor millions by day and ignore your thousands by night.
- Emergency funds are greater than vibes.
- Invest with goals, not peer pressure.
- Estate planning isn’t a curse. It’s common sense.
- A financial coach is cheaper than a crisis.
To Brenda, thank you for your patience and your ratios. Also, thank you for never once laughing out loud. I appreciate your understanding when I said, “I think my mobile loan counts as an investment.”
Fortunately, I was cruising on a fairly solid financial foundation.
Following my first layoff traumatic experiences in 2016 and 2022, I sought after Rina Hicks of Africa’s Pocket and Waithaka Gatumia of Centonomy Ltd. They taught me a few financial literacy tips. .
But, 2024 reminded me how to actually flex financial wisdom! Let’s be honest, two years later, my financial muscles had gotten flabby.
I needed a refresher! Think of it as returning to the financial gym. Before this, I was living on a steady diet of impulse buys and Fuliza na Mpesa.
To my ‘cousins’ and colleagues: Consider financial coaching. You don’t need to be rich to get smart with money. You just need to stop avoiding the numbers.
Now excuse me while I go calculate my net worth. Again. Slowly. With snacks.
#Adulting, #PersonalFinance, #EmergencyFundLife, #InvestWithGoals #BrokeNoMore, #FinancialCoaching, #EstatePlanning101, #FromBurnRateToBudgeting
Joseph Ngaara is inspired by people’s life experiences. Do you have an intriguing life story and need to share your triumph or tragedy? Email: j.mungai@hotmail.co.uk
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